30 second quiz — name another Miss America other than Vanessa Williams.
Yep. I couldn’t either.
Just over 3 decades ago, Vanessa Williams became the first African American to ever hold the title of Miss America. Ten months later, just seven weeks short of the end of her reign, she was forced to resign due to nude photos that were released of her.
It’s ironic, how in stark contrast to this present age of social media, where having a sex tape is almost a norm among celebrities, that a few nude photos could cause such an uproar. But it did. I remember it firsthand, and all the judgment surrounding her. Lauren Duca in the Huffington Post did a great piece on the hypocrisy that surrounds beauty pageants in general as well as this scandal. You can give it a read here.
But my thoughts are more focused on the “story behind the glory”. Look at her now! After the initial scandal, she was a virtual pariah. No one would work with her. But all she needed is one break — and once she got it, she was unstoppable! She is an accomplished singer, songwriter, actress, author, dancer, model and producer. Vanessa Williams received her own star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame in 2007.
The story comes full circle as she returned to the Miss America pageant to judge this year’s competition. Miss America CEO Sam Haskell apologized on stage to both Vanessa Williams and her mother for the prior Miss America organization “making her feel less than the Miss America you are“. See the apology here.
Better late than never; and she accepted the apology like a true queen.
But it is clear from the trajectory of Vanessa William’s career that she does not need the validation of anyone, least of all the Miss America organization. However, I wonder (maybe I am being a wee bit cynical here), if with the progress of the women’s movement, and the growing viewpoint that pageants which showcase predominantly beauty not brain are antiquated, that the Miss America organization is hoping to mend fences with a certain demographic while renewing interest with others?
Only time will tell.
But Vanessa Williams has been, and always will be, Miss America. And the onlyone anyone will remember, with a successful career after the crown.
RIP Senator Clementa Pinckney — you are truly free
I saw disturbing hashtag on Twitter the other morning.
It said #RacistandProud.
While I applaud the efforts of Governor Haley of South Carolina, the representatives and the legislators such as Mississippi House Speaker Philip Gunn, who are fighting to take down the Confederate flag, the bottom line is you cannot legislate the hearts of men and women. Try as we might, we cannot make hatred illegal. Actsof hate, yes. But we need to do more to change the belief systems that lead to the acts of hate.
President Obama made this very point in a recent radio interview which caused quite a stir. People are very focused on his use of the N-word rather than the point he was making. The point is, it’s not about oh, we no longer can say the N-word in public therefore racism is dead. Everyone can drink from the same water fountain. We can use the same bathrooms. We can all enter the same places. Therefore, racism is no longer a problem.
Many people are afraid to even admit racism still exists, let alone even have the dialogue. How are we even to move forward, if people won’t even sit down at the table to have the discussion and hear opposing points of view?
This is why I was so disturbed by the Rachel Dolezal debacle. As you may recall, she was the White woman who was the President of the Spokane chapter of the NAACP, and had held herself out as African American in recent years. Her lies finally unravelled, resulting in her stepping down from her position in disgrace (but with a few prime time interviews). She, as a White woman, could have been a White female advocate on civil rights and social justice causes. If she had been authentic, she could have helped facilitate this discussion with White America, potentially in a non-confrontational manner. But, this is a missed opportunity — the ship has sailed. Thank God for Jon Stewart and the Daily Show. Jon Stewart uses comedy as a vehicle to take on serious issues of race, making some salient points. In the days after the shooting in Charleston, South Carolina Jon Stewart issued a blistering monologue that cut right to the heart of the issue of discussing race in America.
All good people watched in horror as nine innocent people lost their lives while worshiping in Bible study in Charleston, South Carolina. The bottom line is, the alleged killer, Dylann Roof was not a lone (although he acted alone), mentally ill, marginalized, sad boy who acted in a random manner. If you examine his manifesto his behavior and the flags he wore on his jacket, he is part of a greater movement.
A movement of #RacistandProud.
These are people who want to “take back the country” from what they feel are African Americans “moving above their station”. We as African Americans are no longer slaves, serving our masters the way they deemed we are supposed to be. We are becoming Presidents, Attorney Generals, Senators, Congresswomen, and having real power with the ability to change the world in a positive way. This idea is so revolting, so abhorrent, that the only way to react is to commit acts of murder and terror.
Think this sounds dramatic? Think back into American history, and how when African Americans protested simply for the right to vote and be treated equally, they were beaten and killed. Think about how Dr. Martin Luther King Jr., the proponent of non-violence, met his end.
So forgive me, if I shudder, when I hear certain politicians say “it’s time to take back our country”…because I’ve heard that language before.
I had the distinct honor and pleasure of being present for the historic installation of Loretta Lynch as the 83rd Attorney General of the United States in May. Two points of foreshadowing arose: first, in her speech, she stated “we do not look to the twin pools of revenge and retribution; we look to the law”. And secondly, the DEA Black and Gold Band played Amazing Grace on the bagpipes as they saluted General Lynch and blessed her for her term.
How ironic that within weeks of this incredible moment, we as a nation would see ourselves looking to the law to give us relief after a horrendous terrorist act against innocents; and hear President Obama make very poignant points (as well as sing) Amazing Grace at the funeral of slain South Carolina pastor and State Senator Clementa Pinckney.
President Obama reminded us during Senator Pinckney’s eulogy that we are all born with God’s grace — do we choose to use that grace to shine with positivity? Or do we cover that grace with hatred, racism and anger? Do we stand by while racist comments are made in our presence, ignore the cries and plights of others, saying “it’s not my problem”, or “it’s not so bad, they’re being dramatic”?
My heart goes out to Emmanuel AME church. To the victims, you are gone, not forgotten, and your death will not be in vain. As a country, still we rise. We will overcome this, as we have overcome so much adversity in our history. Together. As one nation, under God, with liberty and justice for all.
People pray and listen to the Sunday service outside of the Emanuel AME Church in Charleston, South Carolina on June 21, 2015 in the first service after the murder of nine victims. AFP PHOTO/ MLADEN ANTONOV /Getty Images)This is the true meaning of freedom and Independence Day.
In case you missed it, see the stirring rendition of Amazing Grace .
In our busy lives, it’s always good to take a moment of reflection. It is always critical to remind yourself that not all _____ are _____. You have to always remind yourself not to generalize, in whatever situation you are in life. The “blanks” differ from person to person. If you’re a single man going through dating horrors, not all women are crazy. When I was single, I had to remind myself of that about men 🙂 . From a political standpoint, not all Republicans are evil, not all Democrats are destructive. Fill in the blanks.
I found myself having to have to do that frequently in the last few weeks. After coming off the heels of a widely publicized scandal, in which police officers that I knew in Miami Beach, socialized with, went to battle shoulder to shoulder with in the court room, were discovered to have sent very vile racist and misogynistic emails, I had to take a step back and reflect. After getting past my initial hurt and anger, I had to think about constructive ways to confront what has clearly emerged as a subculture of racism in a department that I actually have the unique opportunity to effect change in. But I had to remind myself that this was not necessarily the culture, but a subculture. Because not all ______are ______. Not all police officers are racist. Not every single police officer in that department was involved. But it did take a moment to get to that place. I had to evaluate all of my interactions. I had always believed that myself and people who were racist pretty much had a clear understanding; we’d look at each other, and know that we were not on the same page.There was always a certain edge that is present. It’s hard to put into words, but just how one can sense when a person doesn’t like you, it’s the same type of feeling. But it was clear in this case that those who held ignorant views did not always act in this fashion, and were capable of hiding it on a whole new level.
Interestingly enough, several weeks before the Miami Beach emails broke, I was teaching a class to police management, and we reached the topic of social media. A similar scandal had occurred in 45 minutes north of us in Ft. Lauderdale, and an African American sergeant asked me my opinion. Mistake #1 — never ask my opinion, because I will give it to you raw. I basically said that anyone who would sent such emails degrading African Americans and women was a subhuman racist. I noticed an interesting shift of energy in the room, and the sergeant looking at me with panic. He came up to me after, and said “while I’m glad you said that and I agree with you, the truth is, there are some officers who really think that stuff is funny.” I looked at him as if he was an alien. Not even two months later, the news of Miami Beach Police Department broke.
After just coming off the heels of this analysis and coming to a fairly decent place, I was then confronted with the horrible images that we all saw of the McKinney pool party video, and the actions of former officer Eric Casebolt. He has since resigned, with his attorney later explaining that Casebolt had responded to two suicide calls that day, and his emotions got the better of him. I can only hope that once he saw the video, he realized that “oh my gosh, I have a daughter/niece/neighbor the same age as did Dajerria Becton”. I can only hope that he realized when confronted with the video that his actions were rooted in anger, not an attempt to arrest someone engaged in criminal activity. I can only hope that in looking at the video he realized that he escalated the situation, and that the boys he drew his gun on only reacted to his unprofessional conduct in hurling a bikini clad girl to the ground; that the fact his fellow officers rushed over unarmed was a sign that he was over saturated and needed to step away from his position. I firmly believe that there needs to be policies in place to deal with officer stress. It is still taboo for officers to seek counseling or to complain of over saturation, which can lead to incidents like this. I believe officers need to be rotated out of certain assignments to quite bluntly, keep them sane.
I reflect back on the amazing cops I know. I think of the African American officers who endured horrible racism in the last 20 years, but did it because they love the job and the community. I think of the great cops of all races that do the job every day because they believe in justice, who treat everyone with respect, and are decent, good people. And I don’t want their good works to be tarnished by a few rogue nasty elements who are not worthy of the badge. And in order to be safe, in order to have justice, we need good cops!
Regardless, I felt that I needed to step back and take a moment to remind myself to fill in the blank. Because again if we are to ever move forward, we cannot indict an entire population for the actions of a few.
The way mainstream media often tells it, you’d think that the only positive trend in the African American community is the President and Michelle Obama.
And depending on the channel, even the President is not a positive trend.
But that is a whole different discussion.
Here is a reminder from my friends at Buzzfeed that the majority of African American young people are doing things other than rioting and committing crimes.
Here is a reminder that for every negative story, there are many positive stories that go unreported. So if one is tempted to dehumanize, demonize, or dismiss an entire race as lost….look at the real evidence here.
Congrats to all the new grads, starting on a new adventure. I won’t lie, the hard work is just beginning. Getting the degree is one thing; building a career is another. But take risks. Don’t be afraid. Now is the time to try different paths. Change cities, changes careers, change your mind. No, you don’t get a work/life balance. Now’s the time to work your butt off. The payoff comes later. I 100% guarantee that the tassle is worth the hassle.
But for today….celebrate, and enjoy this moment. It’s the first of many great moments. You have earned it!!
It’s been 3 years, but 4 Mother’s Days without you, and I still miss you. Sending up big hugs and kisses.
Much love to all the mothers out there…but a special shout out to all who are missing their mothers today. Jenna Rose wrote a beautiful letter addressing being without your mom on Mother’s Day for USA Today…couldn’t have said it better myself. Check it out here.
If you’ve got your mom, hug her and kiss her for me.
Better late than never; and she accepted the apology like a true queen.
The Resident Legal Diva 