Tips for Summer Travel with Elderly Family

Photo by Dimitri Dim on Pexels.com

Summer is underway as well as revenge travel season. Now that some COVID19 restrictions are being lifted due to increased vaccinations, you may be planning to take that long awaited trip that may have been delayed. Here are some tips for traveling with elder family members or folks with disabilities.

Pack your patience. No matter how you try, things don’t go according to plan. Everything will take much longer than you think — from getting to and from the airport, getting around or receiving services. Your loved one may get frustrated as well. So take deep breaths and allow yourself plenty of time.

Be realistic. You may remember your loved one as younger and more vibrant. Mobility changes over time, which can be hard for both you and your loved one. They want to be able to do more but can’t; you may possibly have expected them to do more than they can. For instance, if you normally have short visits with your loved one, and they are fine walking around the house, that is a far cry from having to walk long distances at the airport dragging a rolling suitcase. Also, with the pandemic, folks have physically been less active — even us as younger people! So bring your patience, plan, and think through the best way to get from points A to B.

Direct flights can be better. If at all possible, try to get a direct flight to your destination. It allows your loved one to get settled once, and you don’t have to worry about a delay causing a logistical nightmare with missed connections. We’ve seen how some airlines have cancelled flights at the last minute. A direct flight can prevent that dreaded sprint in between terminals with someone who is not as mobile. There are the carts that drive through the airport, but multiple stops for other passengers may also slow down the process.

Get a wheelchair at booking. Every airline allows you to book wheelchair assistance when you purchase your flight. But I have to share a cautionary tale. On a recent trip with my elderly dad for a funeral, my husband and I booked a wheelchair through American Airlines. We arrived at Miami International Airport two hours before the flight, and went to the designated area run by Envoy who handles the wheelchairs there. The lady at the desk informed us that we would have to sit and wait for 45 minutes. This is even before going through TSA and the long trek to the departure gate. When I expressed my shock, she pointed to an older lady who was sitting with her head in her hands looking defeated “well, her flight boards in 5 minutes” with a shrug. Not wanting to take the chance, we ended up walking very slowly with my dad to the gate, which was very physically draining for him. We were blessed that although he had limited mobility, he could walk — but what about those for whom that is completely out of the question? The absolute reverse was true when we left Jamaica (a place that some disparage as a “3rd world country”). The level of care and attention we received was outstanding. So with this experience, I would suggest calling the airport to see what the wait times are for wheelchairs. Consider purchasing a lower cost wheelchair for travel if you are able, so that you can get your loved one to the destination with limited aggravation.

Pack very light or check luggage. Between dealing with wheelchairs, seating and other logistics, dragging a bag behind you is another drama that may end up being a lot. Use curbside check in if possible, or wear a backpack so that your hands remain free for whatever is needed.

Wear comfy shoes. This is not the time to be cute when you have to sprint ahead and head off random travel disasters. Trust me.

Empty your loved one’s pockets. The side eye you get for holding up the TSA line is never fun. Don’t be that group if at all possible. Even after asking your loved one “are your pockets empty?”, search all of their pockets. Inevitably, you will find change, a phone, eyeglasses or something. It took about three trips before I realized I must handle that aspect.

While there are logistical considerations, the benefit of travelling for family gatherings, vacations or just to spend time together far outweighs the irritations that can be involved. Plan ahead, use these tips, and have a great summer! If you have other tips, please share in the comments!

This story originally appeared in Medium – check it out and send some claps if you are a member!

Does The Florida Supreme Court Hate Diversity?

Last month, without any prompting from a pending case or matter, the Florida Supreme Court sua sponte ruled that the Florida Bar can no longer issue continuing legal education credits to any entity that requires diversity in selecting speakers.

At a time when our country is at a crossroads on racial issues—enduring the long painful trial of Derek Chauvin for the brutal murder of George Floyd, a summer of unrest due to his and the deaths of Breonna Taylor as well as Ahmaud Arbery, a huge rise in AAPI hate attacks, anti-Semitic attacks increasing by 40% in our state, and Charlottesville not far in our rearview mirror —it is incredibly irresponsible and concerning to take this approach.

If a CLE addressed Asian hate, and the sponsoring entity required at least one Asian speaker, the session would not see credit. Is the Florida Supreme Court saying that only white men can opine on anti-Asian hate? Or racism? Further marginalizing voices who can share lived experiences that can educate others makes our profession weaker. It goes back to days gone by when only white voices mattered or were heard in any discussion.

It’s 2021. Gone were the days that you do not find diverse attorneys—women, various races and ethnicities, LGBT+—locked out of various areas of practice. Seeing experts that are different than you broadens your horizons, and helps attack implicit bias. The Supreme Court, ironically, highlighted the importance of diversity and eradicating implicit bias—yet attacked the very means to be able to accomplish diversity by using a misguided application of the Regents of University of California v. Bakke, 438 U.S. 265, 307 (1978). Their basis—that requiring diverse speakers equates to an unconstitutional quota—blatantly ignores the fact that while people may have good intentions, guidelines are needed to ensure diversity. By saying “at least one speaker should be a member of a group based upon race, ethnicity, gender, sexual orientation, gender identity, disability and multiculturalism” does not act to the detriment of any other group.

Sadly, several of the Supreme Court justices were appointed by this governor, who has made it clear he is hostile to communities of color. From his comments disrespecting the jury’s verdict in the Chauvin case, to signing an unnecessary and regressive anti-protest bill that attacks free speech, to stripping access to the ballot box, and unevenly distributing the vaccine to the point that 100% of wealthy white people are vaccinated in this state as opposed to only 31% of Black residents, his intentions have been clear as day. Lastly, he recently signed a bill demanding all university professors to fill out regular surveys to determine their political beliefs, and empowers students to secretly record their professors for daring to opine differently than the conservative status quo.

The judiciary is supposed to be independent, not following lock step with the governor’s war against social media and any opinion that is not conservative. The goal of having a diverse panel is to ensure diversity of ideas—conservative, progressive and independent. It is to raise awareness around a particular topic, which makes us better lawyers and people.

This ruling will have wide consequences. Several organizations are discussing no longer hosting events in Florida, which will cause attorneys to have to travel longer and further to get quality content while depriving our economy. Locally, as bar associations grapple with engaging and retaining members, if they are barred from presenting quality programs with diverse speakers, it will only further harm their finances and relevance.

Requiring diversity is the furthest thing from discrimination. This is still in the comment period—if you believe that having a variety of speakers uplifts our profession, please contact the Supreme Court and tell them to rescind this misguided rule. If it does stay intact, I hope that organizations will continue to practice bringing diverse speakers. It is unfortunate that those with oaths and responsibilities continue to make Florida the laughingstock of the country. Those of us who truly care about diversity—with more than words, but with actual deeds—will continue to push forward.

This piece originally ran in the Daily Business Review. You may see the order from the Florida Supreme Court here.

Tips For When Mother’s Day Hurts…

Happy Mother’s Day to all who celebrate!!

For some folks (myself included), today can be tough. If you lost your mother, mother figure, spouse/partner or as a mom – lost your child, today can be very painful. I lost my mom to cancer nine years ago. The grief has a way of creeping up on you, especially as the barrage of commercials, ads and emails pop up everywhere in the days leading up to today. Here are a few tips to help you get through.

  • It’s Okay. How you are feeling is valid. You don’t need to “toughen up”, and you do not need to pretend.
  • Unplug. Today is a really good day to stay off social media. Scrolling past happy smiling faces of families having brunch may be a lot to handle emotionally and remind you of your loss. Set the phone to do not disturb, leave it in an inaccessible place for a while, and take a break.
  • Find a Positive Distraction. Try binging the show that you’ve been meaning to watch on the streaming service of your choice. Watch some old DVD’s. I suggest opting out of network television because many stations do Mother’s Day themed programming. Get outside for a while. Journal. Work on that project you’ve been procrastinating for so long. Do something positive to keep yourself distracted.
  • Don’t Self Medicate. I’m not judging anyone for this one. However, using drugs or alcohol can make the pain you are feeling worse – and you may do something you will really regret. Also, practically speaking, tomorrow is Monday. Starting the week with a hangover – even on Zoom – is not fun.
  • It’ll Be Over Soon. It’s 24 hours, part of which you’ll be sleeping. You’ve made it this far. Just a few more hours!

Grief is an ongoing process that does not resolve itself overnight. It’s a rollercoaster, with good days and bad days. See a therapist if it gets too hard to cope. Check with your insurance provider if you have one. If not, there are so many apps and therapists that provide virtual sessions. One list is here.

Kudos to companies like Etsy and The Lip Bar (TLB) who sent emails allowing customers to opt out of Mother’s Day email advertisements. Having that option was definitely kind and sensitive.

I hope this is helpful. Sending you all a big virtual hug!

So I Did a Thing….

Hey RLD Family!

I hope everyone is well, healthy, and on the way to being vaccinated!!

Things have been good and hectic in my world (yes, I know, shocker!), but lots of great projects have come to my world!

This week, I was featured in the documentary “Last Day In“, which critically examines the US criminal justice system. It was a project in collaboration with several filmmakers and the hip hop artist Kodak Black, who had several high profile brushes with the law before being pardoned by the last presidential administration.

We do not speak about his case; instead, we focus on what the average, every day person encounters after being arrested, and the collateral consequences that impact entire communities for generations.

See the video below, and share your thoughts!!

Legal Divas of Color: Rep. Barbara Jordan

Hi RLD Family!

Every year for Black History Month, I highlight trailblazing female attorneys that made it possible for me to do what I do today! This year, my Legal Diva of Color is Representative Barbara Jordan, who made history on a number of levels throughout her career.

Rep. Barbara Jordan, photo credit: Associated Press

Barbara Charline Jordan was born February 21, 1936, in Houston, Texas. Her father was a Baptist minister and warehouse clerk; her mother was a maid, housewife and church teacher. Greatness was pre-ordained in her blood. Rep. Jordan’s great-grandfather, Edward Patton, was one of several Black representatives who served in the Texas legislature during Reconstruction — prior to disenfranchisement of Black Texans under Jim Crow.

Rep. Jordan attended the segregated Phillis Wheatley High School, where a career day speech by Edith Sampson, a Black lawyer, inspired her to become an attorney. Never underestimate the power of career day, and of role models to open the door to new career paths!

Her education continued as a member of the inaugural class at Texas Southern University, an HBCU (historically Black college/university) quickly created by the Texas legislature to avoid having to integrate the University of Texas. While at Texas Southern, Rep. Jordan was part of the debate team, helping them reach national acclaim. The team famously tied Harvard’s debaters when they came to Houston — a huge feat for a fledgling team, while simultaneously challenging the notion of white supremacy. She graduated magna cum laude in 1956, heading then to Boston University School of Law. Three years later, Jordan earned her law degree as one of only two African American women in her class. After passing the bars in Massachusetts and Texas, she decided to come back home to Houston, where she opened a law office.

Her pivot to public service began when Rep. Jordan volunteered for John F. Kennedy’s presidential campaign in 1960. She was a masterful organizer — driving 80% voter turnout in Harris County (which is where Houston is located). In a classic case of “if at first you don’t succeed“, she ran twice for the Texas House. The first two times she lost, but she finally won in 1966 — where she became the senator for a newly formed district. As a state senator, she worked to pass a state minimum wage law that covered farmworkers. Ever the hard worker, she co-sponsored over 70 bills. 

After her success as a a state senator, Rep. Jordan ran for Congress as the Democratic nominee for Houston’s 18th District. She won, becoming the first African American woman from a Southern state to serve in the U.S. House of Representatives. She enjoyed a mentor/mentee relationship with Lyndon B. Johnson, which enabled her to be appointed to key posts such as the House Judiciary Committee. Her breakout moment came on July 25, 1974, when Rep. Jordan gave the 15-minute opening statement of the Judiciary Committee’s impeachment hearing for Richard Nixon. Her speech was a staunch defense of the U.S. Constitution and its checks and balances designed to prevent abuse of power. She said, “I am not going to sit here and be an idle spectator to the diminution, the subversion, the destruction of the Constitution.”

She further stated “I felt somehow for many years that George Washington and Alexander Hamilton left me out by mistake. But through the process of amendment, interpretation and court decision, I have finally been included in “we the people””

Rep. Barbara Jordan, 1974

The impeachment speech helped lead to Nixon’s resignation over the Watergate scandal and won Jordan national acclaim for her rhetoric, intellect and integrity. Her speech was so amazing that two years later, she was asked to deliver the keynote address at the 1976 Democratic National Convention— a first for an African American woman! Rep. Jordan was even floated as a potential running mate for Jimmy Carter. She turned that down — but ironically, even though she was not a candidate, one delegate was so moved by her speech that they voted for her to be the Presidential nominee.

When she was not making history, Rep. Jordan was hard at work on legislation promoting women’s rights, supported the Equal Rights Amendment and cosponsored a bill that would have granted housewives Social Security benefits based on their domestic labor. She co-sponsored close to 300 bills, many of which are still law today. 

After more than a decade of service, Rep. Jordan retired from Congress in 1979 to become a professor at the Lyndon Baines Johnson School of Public Affairs at the University of Texas. It was a nice full circle moment, being able to teach at the university that she could not attend due to segregation, as well as in the school named after her mentor. She became an active public speaker and advocate, receiving 25 honorary doctorates. Her vehement opposition helped derail George Bush’s nomination of Robert Bork (who had opposed many civil rights cases) to the U.S. Supreme Court. She gave a second Democratic Convention keynote address in 1992. In 1994 then President Bill Clinton awarded her the Presidential Medal of Freedom, the country’s highest civilian honor.

Rep. Jordan died of leukemia-related pneumonia on January 17, 1996 at age 59. Breaking barriers even in death, she became the first African American to be buried among the governors, senators and congressmen in the Texas State Cemetery. Her legacy includes the main terminal of the Austin International Airport bearing her name, along with a statute of her likeness. In 2000, the Jordan/Rustin Coalition (JRC) was created, honoring Rep. Jordan and Bayard Rustin, a leader in the civil rights movement and close confidante of Martin Luther King Jr. The organization’s goal was to mobilize LGBT+ African Americans to aid in the passage of marriage equality in California. Rep. Jordan had a long term companion named Nancy Earl, who was with her until the end of her life. No public statement has ever been made about their relationship, but it is believed they were life partners. 

Thank you Rep. Barbara Jordan for being a trailblazer, and a Legal Diva of Color!

Photo credit: Associated Press