#TBT: Best of 2016

On December 29, 2016 By Melba V. PearsonIn Good Vibes2 Comments

voting 2016

Hi RLD Family,

As we bring 2016 to a close, I wanted to share the stories on the blog that were the most popular this year. I’ve put the link to the post in the title, so go ahead and click to read it again…or for the first time if you missed it.

Let’s begin the countdown!

#5. Don’t Leave America, Fight For It!

This Presidential election definitely brought out some strong feelings — and the outcome came as a surprise to many. I shared my thoughts as to “where from here” and my resolve to fight for what is rightfully mine as an American. My forefathers planted trees on this land, and I intend to stay and enjoy the fruit of their labor.

#4. An Open Letter to Bill O’Reilly on Slavery

My response to the crazy and factually incorrect comments regarding slavery made by Fox News host Bill O’Reilly appeared in the Huffington Post. It remains the most commented on and liked piece that I have done so far. We must be vigilant to make sure that those who wish to revise history, whitewashing it and trying to minimize the effect it had on this nation, are held to task.

#3. My Take on Police Shootings

This piece was published in the Huffington post as well. It was in response to some of the horrific shootings by police that we saw this year. Not every case merits an arrest; if an officer can articulate legitimate reasons for being in fear, then the shooting is justified. The focus must remain on deescalation tactics to reduce the number of fatal shootings, and shining a light on those shootings that are not justified to ensure that everyone is equal under the law — facing consequences when the law is broken.

#2. #LoveWins: Interracial Relationship Realities

An innocent and sweet Old Navy ad featuring an interracial family drew the ire of Internet trolls. As a result of the racist backlash, many families started to post pictures showing what love is. I was no different; not only did I post pictures of my husband and I, but I penned a piece to discuss some of the challenges that we face as a couple. At the end of the day, as long as you have a love and communication, you can overcome anything!

And the number one post of 2016 on the Resident Legal Diva is:

#1. Goodbye My Dear Friend…

This was one of the toughest pieces for me to write. Actually, writing it wasn’t that hard; reading and sharing it was the difficult part. My friend suddenly passed away earlier this year, and left a hole in my heart that can never be filled. This was a tough year for me with regards to friends and family transitioning to the next life. All we can do is cherish those we love while we have them, mourn those we have lost, and keep them alive in our hearts through our beautiful memories.

This year I also took a gander at vlogging! I did three videos — check out the links below.

So for 2017, what do you want to see on the blog? Do you want to see more articles? More Diva Talks videos? More Diva Reads where I discuss articles of interest that I have been reading? I’d love to hear from you, sound off in the comments below.

Wishing you a happy, healthy, prosperous, and amazing New Year. I’ll see you on the flipside!

createherstock-christmas167-isha-gaines — courtesy CreateHerStock

Merry Christmas!

On December 25, 2016 By Melba V. PearsonIn Good VibesLeave a comment

Thank you RLD family, for all of your love, support and comments throughout this year.

As I have said before, love is the most precious as well as priceless gift we can give. Give it abundantly, not only on Christmas Day, but every day!! ❤️

My husband and I are spending our Christmas in Stowe, enjoying the snow and each other. May you have a holiday filled with love, friends and family.

The Cowboy and I on a sleigh ride in Stowe, VT

#TBT: Grief During the Holidays

On December 22, 2016December 23, 2016 By Melba V. PearsonIn Good Vibes, Pop Life1 Comment

holidays

Hi RLD Family,

I know some of you have lost loved ones this year as I have. It is tough going through the holidays — you are joyful on one hand, because the year has come to an end and you get to spend time with those you love. On the other hand, there is always an empty seat at the table as well as in your heart. Here is a piece I wrote on surviving the holidays when grieving — I hope this helps you get through it.

Hugs!

grief-is-the-price-we__quotes-by-queen-elizabeth-ii-96

Tips for Grieving

Take it day by day, minute by minute. Don’t think beyond today. It’s easier that way.
It’s a rollercoaster. You will feel a ton of emotions – anger one minute, crying the next, laughing for a moment. It’s totally normal although it feels weird. You’re working through all those memories and emotions at the same time, and that’s how it manifests itself. Take it one step at a time, and allow yourself to feel whatever it is you are feeling without judgment.

Read the other tips here.

Who’s In Your Corner?

On December 16, 2016December 16, 2016 By Melba V. PearsonIn Good Vibes, Pop Life2 Comments

fistbump

My mom always had a saying “always know who is in your corner”.

She meant it in the way of not following friends at the expense of those who truly support you. I’m not sure if she intended it as a boxing metaphor, but if she did I wouldn’t be surprised. My mom was a super classy lady who could speak with authority on any sport. It’s still tough accepting she is gone nearly 5 years later, but her gems of wisdom remain.

As I have grown older, I now understand fully the meaning of her statement. Her words came to me full throttle in the last week, which has been a tumultuous one in my life. This week, I laid my auntie (her sister) to rest. I took it quite hard, because they were so close, and she was very present in my life. She endured the loss of her baby sister (my mom) in 2012, and my uncle in 2014. When she told me she was ready to go home to the Lord, I totally got it. It’s tough because unfortunately, you reach a point where you start to measure your mortality based on those who have passed. I’m there. As I prepared for the memorial service, some drama ensued. A dear friend of mine who used to work with me messaged me and said “I’d like to come by the service. Any auntie of yours is an auntie of mine“. I literally burst into tears.

Know who is in your corner.

RIP Aunt Veda and Uncle Joel. Us during better times in 2013

I had an intense murder trial last week that ultimately resulted in a not guilty verdict. It’s tough, because as any prosecutor will tell you, you believe in your case. Sometimes you go in thinking “these facts are awful, but I know he’s guilty”. Other times you think your case is strong. For me, it was the latter. But what was equally as painful for me as the verdict is that someone who I thought was a friend showed me they were not. Sometimes the illusion of friendship is stronger than the reality. The key is to see this clearly and govern your life accordingly.

Know who is in your corner.

But, as challenging as this week was, I received some wonderful news that will result in a major life change in 2017. (More on that in a later post, stay tuned!). My husband is practically doing backflips; I am more cautiously optimistic. I think he and I take turns on being the dreamer or the pragmatic in the marriage. But looking at him reminds me of how blessed I am to truly have someone that is truly hard core in my corner. My “Ride or die” if you will.

Who is in your corner? As this year ends, take stock. For those who have supported you, make sure to tell them how much they mean to you. Those folks are rare, and our time here on Earth is limited. Those who don’t support you in word and in deeds, cut them loose. You can fly higher as well as faster with less weight.

To conclude on a cheerier note…I thought this song was so cheesy when it came out, but heaven knows it’s applicable.

Finding Peace in Stormy Times..

On July 24, 2016 By Melba V. PearsonIn Good VibesLeave a comment

Snowboarding last Christmas in Stowe with my husband

When do I feel free? When am I most at peace?

The question was posed as a result of all of the negativity we are seeing of late in the news. How do we as warriors for change refuel?

It caused me to pause, reflecting as to how and where I regain my strength.

It is in these instances: one, when I am listening to music. That could be in my car, in a spinning class, or on the dance floor (happening less and less these days).

Two, when I am on top of a mountain about to snowboard down.

And three, when I’m with my husband.

Music has always been my freedom. For as long as I can remember, music has the ability to transport me away from any problems or concerns I am dealing with. In my younger days (early 20’s) I would find escape with my friends in the nightclubs of New York and Miami. As I got older — with the days getting longer, and the job became more hectic, I found solace less on the dance floor, and more on a spinning bike. I discovered spinning classes around the early 2000’s; that same music and emotion present in a nightclub would take me away from my problems for 45 minutes on a stationary bike. For that time frame, I am focused on the task at hand; beat the bike! Of late, I have been going to SoulCycle down the block from my home. That has been such a blessing and helped me through some tough trials. Other times, taking a drive in my car with the music blasting helps me clear my head. Whether it be dance music, R&B, old hip hop, or even country (thanks to my husband’s influence), I can shift my energy to a better place in a couple songs.

Another great activity that brings me peace is snowboarding. Mind you, I am not the best at it; a good run is when I didn’t fall at all, but there is nothing like standing on the top of the mountain. You are literally on top of the world. The only thing you hear is the whistling of the wind and the sound of your own heartbeat. Then, you jump. As I coast down the slope surrounded by God’s natural beauty, I am utterly at peace.

Until I fall.

The well from which I get my strength is my beloved husband. I have talked about him in prior posts, but I always feel it bears repeating. I married him a little late in life, so it enabled me to really pick the right partner. There is nothing better after a long day or a long week to cuddle up next to him and talk, or even sit in silence. During that time I release all the stress from the day and just enjoy being in the company of the one I love. I have grown to cherish these moments more and more as life, as well as my chosen profession, throws me more challenges.

It is always critical to find what brings you peace or else your tank will run empty. Bad things happen when you get to that point.

So what brings you peace? Sound off in the comments!