Top 5 Stories of 2018 on RLD!

Top 5 Stories of 2018 on RLD!

Whelp, another year is in the books.  2018 brought some interesting highlights — many of us were full on #WakandaForever in honor of the movie Black Panther; we dissected Danny Glover’s masterful video for the song This is America; and millions of activists found their voices as a result of the school shooting in Parkland, Florida, as well as due to the current presidential administration.  We lost Anthony Bourdain and Aretha Franklin. We joyfully welcomed a new Duchess of Sussex in Meghan Markle during a glorious royal wedding.

In my life, 2018 was a year of growth.  I became President of the Gwen S. Cherry Black Women Lawyers Association, found my stride as Deputy Director of the ACLU of Florida,  and was recognized by the American Bar Association for having one of the best Legal twitter accounts and for being one of the eight most inspiring members for 2018.

I didn’t get to write as much as I wanted to — but you, my RLD Family, hung in there with me! For this, I thank you.

Here are the top 5 pieces that you loved:

5. Missing the Little Things on Mother’s Day

Every year, I write as a form of therapy to cope with the untimely passing of my mother from cancer.  It’s a way to honor her, as well as to take my mind off of the pain.  It’s been six years — the grief is better than it was, but I know I will never be the same.  Over time, I’ve come to accept this new normal.  Not everyone is blessed to have had a great relationship with their mother — so I count myself lucky.

4. “You’re So Articulate” Is Not a Compliment to a Woman of Color

This article came out of the #BlackWomenAtWork Twitter hashtag from last year.  Women of color were discussing various microaggressions we face in the workplace, often from folks who seem so “surprised” by our presence, or for defying the stereotypes they have of us.  I shared an experience I had, and a conservative commentator decided to weigh in without completely understanding the context (or frankly, even trying to understand).  So, a tutorial ensued. The fact that it has been so highly read for two years in a row shows that the issue is one that is not going away any time soon.

3. The Flawed Concept of “But You Have Nothing To Be Depressed About!”

anthony bourdain
Anthony Bourdain shooting ‘Anthony Bourdain Parts Unknown’ on location in Salvador, Brazil on January 9, 2014.

In June of this year, celebrity chef Anthony Bourdain passed away as a result of suicide.  It hit me hard — not only because I was a huge fan of his shows, not because we were in France at the same time — but because many people still struggle to understand mental health.  There are so many misconceptions tied to money, material things, and outward appearances — as to who should or can be depressed.  Money gives you access to better care, but it does not insulate you from the crippling effects of depression.  There is no shame in admitting you need help.  There were dark periods in my life where a good therapist helped me get back on track. Getting help is a sign of strength, not weakness.  May he rest in peace.

2. Toxic Tribalism: Why Diverse Judges Are Needed More Than Ever

Former USA Gymnastics team doctor Larry Nassar was sentenced to 175 years this past January for molesting the athletes in his care over a span of 30 years.  Instead of the focus being on his heinous actions and betrayal of young athletes who were serving our country through sport, the attention shifted to Judge Rosemarie Acquilina for comments she made during sentencing. It was, what has sadly, become a pattern of the “boys need to stick together” mentality, even when one of the boys was dead wrong.  In this piece I analyzed her actions and the context. Little did we know that there was more to come in the form of continued #MeToo revelations, and a contentious Supreme Court confirmation hearing.  These occurrences are a constant reminder of the need for diversity at all levels of the criminal justice system, to ensure that everyone gets a voice — regardless of gender, money, power or privilege.

And the #1 story of 2018 is…

  1. Betrayed By The Bench?

A judge in Miami Dade County, who many of us knew for many years, lost his seat due to his use of racial slurs at work.  Many folks who are not of color wonder how to be an ally.  I laid out a few — but the key is not to remain silent.  Record everything, and don’t let racist instances slide.  The lives of many hang in the balance.

There you have it! Were there other pieces that you liked from this year? Anything you’d like to see me write about next year? Sound off in the comments!

Wishing you and yours a happy, safe and prosperous New Year.  See you on the flip side!

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New in HuffPo: What It Means to Survive a Hurricane

New in HuffPo: What It Means to Survive a Hurricane

Hurricane Irma photo
JOSE JIMENEZ/GETTY IMAGES

It’s never a good feeling to lock the door to your home, and not know when, if ever, you can really return.

At present, my husband, my 81 year old father and I are hunkered down in a hotel in central Florida. Our home in Miami is in the path for a direct hit from Hurricane Irma; the storm may follow us to where we are, causing us to consider running again. We are luckier than most in that we are able to leave town, and not head to a shelter. Hurricane shelters, contrary to how one sheriff in particular portrays them, are not centers of crime and assault. It is literally a a building (often a school) in a safer area that allows you to lay a blanket on the floor until the danger is over. A shelter is safe but not at all comfortable.

Many of my friends have chosen to stay put in their homes. There are many reasons why folks do not leave. Some can’t afford the crazy airline prices out of town; others worry that it is too late to leave, and don’t want to get caught in the storm due to traffic jams on the major highways.

Recently, it has come to light that some in the media show great disparities in how they report the aftermath of hurricane, based on race. Many of us reflect back to Hurricane Katrina, where there were pictures of residents doing whatever they need to do to survive. Unfortunately, when white folks were depicted taking food or items from stores, they were portrayed as survivors. When people of color did the same, they were portrayed as looters.

Read the rest here.

#TBT: Best of 2016

#TBT: Best of 2016

voting 2016

 

 

Hi RLD Family,

As we bring 2016 to a close, I wanted to share the stories on the blog that were the most popular this year. I’ve put the link to the post in the title, so go ahead and click to read it again…or for the first time if you missed it.

Let’s begin the countdown!

 

 

#5. Don’t Leave America, Fight For It!

This Presidential election definitely brought out some strong feelings — and the outcome came as a surprise to many. I shared my thoughts as to “where from here” and my resolve to fight for what is rightfully mine as an American. My forefathers planted trees on this land, and I intend to stay and enjoy the fruit of their labor.

 

#4. An Open Letter to Bill O’Reilly on Slavery

My response to the crazy and factually incorrect comments regarding slavery made by Fox News host Bill O’Reilly appeared in the Huffington Post. It remains the most commented on and liked piece that I have done so far.  We must be vigilant to make sure that those who wish to revise history, whitewashing it and trying to minimize the effect it had on this nation, are held to task.

 

#3. My Take on Police Shootings

This piece was published in the Huffington post as well. It was in response to some of the horrific shootings by police that we saw this year. Not every case merits an arrest;  if an officer can articulate legitimate reasons for being in fear, then the shooting is justified.  The focus must remain on deescalation tactics  to reduce the number of fatal shootings, and shining a light on those shootings that are not justified to ensure that everyone is equal under the law — facing consequences when the law is broken.

 

#2. #LoveWins: Interracial Relationship Realities

An innocent and sweet Old Navy ad featuring an interracial family drew the ire of Internet trolls. As a result of the racist backlash, many families started to post pictures showing what love is. I was no different;  not only did I post pictures of my husband and I, but I penned a piece to discuss some of the challenges that we face as a couple. At the end of the day, as long as you have a love and communication, you can overcome anything!

 

And the number one post of 2016 on the Resident Legal Diva is:

#1. Goodbye My Dear Friend…

This was one of the toughest pieces for me to write. Actually, writing it wasn’t that hard; reading and sharing it was the difficult part. My friend suddenly passed away earlier this year, and left a hole in my heart that can never be filled. This was a tough year for me with regards to friends and family transitioning to the next life. All we can do is cherish those we love while we have them, mourn those we have lost, and keep them alive in our hearts through our beautiful memories.

This year I also took a gander at vlogging! I did three videos — check out the links below.

 

So for 2017, what do you want to see on the blog? Do you want to see more articles? More Diva Talks videos? More Diva Reads where I discuss articles of interest that I have been reading?  I’d love to hear from you, sound off in the comments below.

Wishing you a happy, healthy, prosperous, and amazing New Year. I’ll see you on the flipside!

M.

 

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courtesy CreateHerStock

 

Diversity Discussions….

Diversity Discussions….

20140519-151326-54806927.jpgBack in November, I had the honor and the privilege of speaking as President of the National Black Prosecutors Association on a roundtable at Harvard Law. Fellow participants included head prosecutors from around the country, and forward thinkers in the criminal justice world, led by the Vera Institute.  We discussed issues of racial disparity in sentencing, ways to ensure that everyone gets the same treatment for the same types of crimes/criminal history, and other ways to make our system better.  See my interview here on diversity and unconscious bias in the criminal justice system.

Knowledge Trumps Racism Part IV: Is it Racism, Race Baiting, or Overreacting?

Knowledge Trumps Racism Part IV: Is it Racism, Race Baiting, or Overreacting?

028Think not wearing a hoodie will save you from getting profiled?

Think it’s about fashion, and carrying yourself a certain way?

Think again.

Racism and prejudice take many forms.  When I first started my legal career 12 years ago, and I was assigned to my first felony courtroom, I can’t count the number of times that White male attorneys assumed I was the courtroom clerk as opposed to the prosecutor.

Even though I was in a suit and clerks don’t wear suits.

Even though I was at the prosecutors’ table working on the files that were distinctly different in appearance than the court files.

I would swallow the insult quietly and direct them to the clerk…which would usually result in them attacking me harder in the legal proceedings that followed.

Because there’s no way I could be a competent attorney. I’m really the clerk!

Or at least I should be.

My story is not unique. Education, money and privilege does not save you from ignorance.

So in this installment of Knowledge Trumps Racism, meet Lawrence Otis Graham, who was reminded of this the hard way.

Several weeks ago, in my capacity as President of the National Black Prosecutors Association, I went to a high level meeting of attorneys. After I spoke, one attorney was so impressed that I was articulate. Everyone there knew my bio and background — so there was no reason to be surprised that a decade plus long attorney at a major metropolitan office, who has been arguing murder cases, graduated from top nationally ranked schools, and represents a national organization, is articulate.

Other than the obvious.
Unless my stunning good looks that rival Tyra Banks had this attorney fooled.
It reminded me of an old Chris Rock skit, where he talked about then Secretary of State Colin Powell and how certain folks  used to say with an air of surprise that “he speaks so well!”
Like what, did he have a stroke yesterday?
He speaks so well.
What’s he supposed to say?
“Imma drop me some bombs today??”
How did I handle it? Smiled, and guided the conversation in another direction with the other people that were present.
Like Kenny Rogers said, know when to hold ’em, know when to fold ’em, and most importantly, know when to walk away.  I could have made a snide comment with a bit of side eye, but that would play into preexisting stereotypes. 
My point is this. Racism still exists. The protests that are going on, all the debates on television and radio are not adequately addressing this basic fact.
And maybe people are afraid to say it and acknowledge it. Maybe they don’t believe it. Racism is not some backwoods, trailer park idea. While the KKK’s numbers have dwindled, they still exist, in conjunction with other groups that share their ideals. In the age of “political correctness”, racist views are not as overtly shared. But racism occurs anywhere there are people. Which means Ivy League graduates can be racist, CEO’s can be racists, owners of basketball teams can be racist, and yes, so can police officers.
This is not to say ALL people are racist or even the majority.  Absolutely not.
But you can’t look at events in a vacuum. Problems rarely pop up overnight. There is a history of simmering tension (starting with the ugly legacy of slavery).
And imagine having to deal with issues such as the ones Lawrence Otis Graham had to deal with in his personal life and as a father, watching your son be humiliated and be utterly powerless to help. Lawrence had his son looking like Erkel from Family Matters in an attempt to protect him, and he found out that meant nothing. After working hard, doing things “right”, and still seeing certain aspects of life boil down to the color of your skin, you get angry.
I channel my anger at the keyboard, and into constructive ways to effect change.
Not everyone has that option. Others go through their lives, angry, but don’t express it…until the proverbial saying of “one straw that breaks the camel’s back.” One act that strikes too close to home.
Knowledge trumps racism. Before you dismiss racism as an antiquated idea or an overreaction of paranoid people, listen. Listen to their stories. Listen to their experience. The CEO of Starbucks, Howard Schultz is doing just that. He’s starting a dialogue with his employees about the issue of race, because clearly he realizes the only way we as a country can get past this issue is to talk about it. He said “while it’s always safer to stand by the sidelines, that’s not leadership”. 
I’ve seen those media outlets who cover these issues and discuss them at length called “race baiters”. Again, newsflash. You can’t “bait” what’s already there! Let’s address it together…or we shall perish, divided.