Christmas Musings…

Cowboy & I in Stowe, Vermont

Greetings RLD Family,

I’d like to take this moment to thank you for your support over the last 6 years of the blog. I’ve learned that content flows better when I have time to relax, or something outrageous happens.

Sadly, downtime has been a fleeting memory due to an insane schedule, and outrageous acts seem to happen so regularly that at times you think we are in bizarro world. If you are a Christian, you may think we are at the end of days as per Revelations.

But this I know – we made it though 2019! We are on the cusp of a new year AND a new decade. We are stepping into our purpose, taking it to the next level, and making our goals come to fruition – together!!

Most importantly, we celebrate today (or this week depending on your faith). We pause, we spend time with loved ones, and we break bread.

The Cowboy and I are in at our holiday getaway in Stowe. Today we will get a few runs in on the slopes, and enjoy our brief respite from reality.

I can’t let the day end without honoring two people I’ve lost this year – Jake Burton and Marion Hughes. Jake Burton was The Godfather of snowboarding. On our last trip to Stowe in March, I was sitting in the lodge chatting with two guys while the Cowboy was getting a few more runs in. They talked about both surviving cancer, and living every day to the fullest. We joked around and they shared a few snowboarding tips. One of those guys was Jake Burton. He was so down to earth, so cool, that you would never know he ran an empire. He passed away this November after losing his battle to cancer.

Marion Hughes was a dear friend who I also met on a ski trip. We were close friends for more than a decade until cancer took her in November as well.

I dedicated my last run yesterday – which was flawless (trust me that’s rare with my skill set 😂) to Marion and Jake.

May today be filled with love and peace. If you are missing someone today, may their memory be a blessing. And as we approach 2020, consider this as your motto (always heard it as a little girl on the Caribbean radio station in NY):

“Live every day as if it was your last…because someday it will be”

Don’t wait. Seize the day. Make your dreams happen. And get ready for a whole lotta abundance!!!!

Happy holidays y’all!!

A toast with a local Vermont cider 💕💕

Cancer Steals Another…

Marion & I in Breckenridge, CO 2008

The evil disease cancer took another woman dear to my heart.

My beloved friend Marion Hughes passed away on 11.1.19. Today would have been her birthday.

We met in 2008 on the NBS Summit in Breckenridge, Colorado. We were introduced to each other at Denver Airport, and by the time the two hour bus ride to our destination was complete, we were besties.

That day, I got altitude sickness. As a nurse, she immediately sprung into action. From then on, she always reminded me to do the best for my health.

She loved tennis, skiing, golf and retail therapy (aka shopping). Most of all, she loved leopard print. When I first saw one of her fab leopard print pieces, I complimented her on it. Her response, in her crisp British accent “nuff respect for the leopard darling”.

Our ski/snowboard group – Marion always had an amazing flair…

Her favorite thing to me over the years was “listen to your Auntie Marion. X is not a good idea”. She always made me laugh. We had a tradition of having lunch at Neiman Marcus in Bal Harbour – it was a good midway spot between our homes. We shared so many giggles and memories.

As she was fighting her battle with cancer, we sat at University of Miami Sylvester Cancer Center reminiscing.

I told her “you have to recover. Leopard is in this season. It’s your season!”

She replied “sweetie, leopard never went out of style. Quality never does”.

She didn’t want to tell me about her diagnosis because she knew how tough it was losing my mom to the same disease. Much like my mom, she downplayed the severity until she could not anymore. Even still, she was feisty —  we laughed to the end. And much like my mom, seeing me get married and be in a healthy, happy relationship made her so proud.

It’s always interesting to hear the untold stories at a funeral. Her family and close childhood friend from the UK shared how as a teen, she applied to work at a large grocery chain in her area. All was well until she arrived for her interview – suddenly no jobs were available. She was denied due to her race. In a concerted effort between her friends, community and family, she shamed the store and eventually was able to work there. I never knew the effect she had on race relations in her area. But that was Marion – never one to brag. She just did what had to be done and soldiered on.

A final toast to Marion by her friends – wearing leopard print in her honor

Losing her is a reminder for all of us not to put things off. We wanted to take another ski trip together, but never got the chance. And PSA – get your affairs in order. This includes both a living will, and a traditional will for your belongings.

My friend, my confidante, my adviser, my ever fabulous “Auntie” Marion. Thank you for blessing me with your presence in my life. I love you and will miss you eternally.

November 2018

Jay Z Was Right: We Need to Gentrify Our Hood

Hey RLD Fam!

See my latest in The 94 Percent!

There has been a swirling controversy over a freestyle that rapper Jay Z performed at his Webster Hall conference in May. His freestyle, which was to honor slain rapper and entrepreneur Nipsey Hussle, has the following lyrics:

Gentrify your own hood before these people do it/ Claim eminent domain and have your people move in/ That’s a small glimpse into what Nipsey was doing/ For anybody still confused as to what he was doing.”

Some folks said on Twitter that gentrification can only be viewed in a negative way because it requires pricing people out of their own neighborhood.

See the rest of the story here.

Pearls of Wisdom From Papa P.

In honor of Father’s Day, I’m sharing some of the greatest pieces of advice my father has given me over the years. He tended to speak in parables/riddles – it took me several decades for the meanings to sink in and resonate. There is that moment (as popularized by a series of Progressive Auto Insurance commercials) when you realize that you’ve become your parents. I find myself using a few of these – at work, in speeches, or when there is simply no other way to explain a situation.

So here we go! Imagine all of these said with a Jamaican patois accent for full effect.

My father and I when I was a munchkin, giving you 70s realness…

It’s not where you begin, it’s where you get off

This gem is a reminder that it’s all about the journey as well as the end result. You could have had a rough start, a slow start, or botched a few things along the way. If you end up in a good place, how and where you started becomes irrelevant.

 

You have to have 2 types of friends – the one who can push the car, and the one who can sign the papers.

This one is so real to me. It’s a reminder not to be a snob. Don’t exclusively run with one group of people – make sure to be diverse in your friends and acquaintances. It’s easy to say “oh I’m educated, I don’t socialize with certain people“. Just because someone may not have the same educational level as you does not mean they aren’t a good person or worthy of your friendship. And as a practical matter, the partner at a law firm is (generally) not going to come down from his/her office and jump start your car if your battery dies. But the janitor, if you have been treating him/her with respect, will help you out.

My father and I at my law school graduation

 

Make hay while the sun is still shining

My father grew up in an agricultural area of Jamaica. It’s literal – after dark you can’t get a whole lot done. But on another level, it encourages me to get a jump on things early, and not procrastinate. It could be a business idea, a project, or a chore. You never know when you will lose an opportunity or time will run out on you (literally or figuratively). His biggest push was for me to finish my education before pursuing anything else – because life has a tendency to get in the way of finishing goals (bills to pay, family, etc.).

 

A king never gets recognition in his own country.

There’s nothing worse than putting all of your efforts into something, and it not working out the way you planned.

Sometimes it goes completely sideways and you get drama for trying to do a good thing.

But sometimes, you get recognition or support from the unlikeliest of places, while those you thought would support you are nowhere to be found. This is a reminder that it’s not so bad, just do your best and the rest will see for itself.

 

Stand crooked and cut straight

This is my personal favorite —  I have been using it like crazy of late. Sometimes you find yourself in a bad situation. Use where you are as a way to get yourself out and make future plans. For instance, your job is not working out well. For the time being, stay in it, but focus on where you want to be. Network, get another degree, learn the skills that will help you get as well as succeed at the job you really want. It’s all about making the best of the current situation while working on getting to the next level.

In closing, I hope you enjoyed these gems – please share the favorites from your family!

 

Happy Father’s Day!

My father’s 80th birthday, giving you dapper all day!

You’re So Different: Ok, But What Makes You Black?

Hey RLD Fam,

Super thrilled that my latest piece appears on the blog Very Smart Brothas. They are doing a series “America in Black”. My piece explores the stereotypes and misconceptions held by all races of what it means to be a black woman.

cd 17.jpg

“Every black person’s struggle takes a different path but has the same theme. In my legal career, the struggle is respect, being heard, and having the ability to make meaningful change to uplift communities of color. The bias looks the same—while some people of color may be hesitant to embrace you because you’re perceived as “bougie,” certain white folks marvel that you can afford a luxury purse or a high-end foreign car without being tied to illegal activity. I was once at an event when a judge joked to me whether or not my Michael Kors purse was a result of dropping cases as a prosecutor.”

See the rest here.