A version of my piece appears in Blavity, check it out!
In a time where a day seemingly cannot go by without some sort of political calamity, how can one get through this?
Those who see and feel injustice are having a tough time.
I’ll put it out there – I’m exhausted. Having seen the good, bad and the ugly in the criminal justice system, I have now elevated my work on social justice issues to a wider scope. I feel it is incumbent upon me as an African American female attorney to lend my voice, as well as my knowledge, for the betterment of all people everywhere. In doing so, you take on the pain of the struggle. If you do not internalize it in some way, then you may need to check your pulse to see if you are still alive.
To make sure that you continue to have the ability to fight the good fight, self-care is critical. Some may think “is that some silly reason folks use to blow off work and go to yoga”
Maybe for some folks, yes; for social warriors, no.
In order to center yourself, you have to take a break. Why? Because your effectiveness diminishes as fatigue sets in. Stress literally kills.
Here are some ideas:
- Eat right
Skipping meals, or eating fast food regularly is not a good idea. I like McDonald’s fries as much as the next person, but as we saw in SuperSize Me, a regular diet of this is not sustainable. Additionally, it will wreak havoc on your energy levels and your mood. The topics we are dealing with regularly are painful as it is – the wrong nutrition will make an already short fuse even shorter. Make a conscious effort to eat regularly, and eat real food.
I’m the first person to say I don’t get a runner’s high. I mostly get the runner’s ouch. But put me in a spin class with a solid playlist (shout out to Allison, Johanna and Reed at SoulCycle), and for 45 minutes I am in another world. I leave sweaty, less stressed, and ready to take on the day. Find what works for you – if you’re in Florida like me, a long walk on the beach is a straight up spiritual experience. If not, basic calisthenics at home, an internet based workout (there’s tons of videos on YouTube, as well as more specialized options), or hitting your local gym will go a long way in allowing you to de-stress, clear your head, and release some of the anger that accumulates. Don’t let budget be a hindrance – close your door, and dance like mad to 3 of your favorite songs in a row. That short break may be enough to release some toxicity.
- Find your village
You need to have positive people around you in your personal life. Each of us needs to have that crew who you can laugh with, be totally silly, and just let your locs down. These are folks who lift you up, infusing you with renewed energy. If those folks aren’t around you, you may need to take a serious look at your circle and make some changes for your sanity.
Take a day at the very least each week , or the entire weekend if you can, and totally detox. My friend is a strong proponent of #UnpluggedSundays, where she signs off social media Saturday night, and does not get back on until Monday. Look, whatever craziness that is coming from the White House will be there tomorrow. Just take a day, and focus on friends and family. Focus on you. Binge watch Real Housewives – anything that does not require deep thought.
- Leave the Bottle Alone
It may be tempting to self medicate by having that extra drink, or turning to legal (or illegal) drugs to escape. At the end of the day, the world’s problems will still be there when you wake up. And now, you’re awake, mad, and have a hangover. Enough said. Also, dependency/addiction has a tendency to creep up on you. Recreational use can turn to habitual use in the blink of an eye. I’m not trying to pull a Nancy Reagan (more of a Grandmaster Flash), but please don’t start down a path that will only cause pain.
- Find what brings you peace (and don’t underestimate the power of the playlist)
Since Charlottesville, I’ve changed my screensaver at work to alpacas. Why? Because looking them calms me down. I can minimize my screen, look at the cuteness, and then re-engage. Music is a huge help too. Lately I’ve been rocking Damien Marley. His social commentary, coupled with great reggae beats and a sharp lyrical style keeps me focused when the day is long. Public Enemy, while accurate, makes me angry. As my friend Ken reminded me today, James Brown is a good bet. You get inspired, proud, and motivated.
- In Summary…
Many have heard the James Baldwin quote
“To be a Negro in this country and to be relatively conscious is to be in a rage almost all the time.”
But the next line is even more important:
“…So that the first problem is how to control that rage so that it won’t destroy you.”
Being part of the resistance is tough, but don’t let it destroy you. Make a conscious effort to release your stress — you are needed!
What works for you? Please share in the comments.